William Eschenbach

Thank you to all the angels who leave their kind words in their candles, tributes, gifts and pictures. They help keep his memory alive and help us in this grieving process.


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♥«´`WILLIAM´`»♥
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My precious son William died a warm March afternoon; St Patty's Day to be exact. I remember I put something green on him by accident and when he saw his therapists that morning they told me they pinched him anyway because he was so cute. They always took such care with him and I remember them giving him a big hug good bye. He loved going there. At home, after lunch, I put him and his older sister in the backyard after lunch and went inside for just a few minutes to change the baby's diaper. We were always working on saying hello and good bye and waving. I distinctly remember him turning around and saying good bye to me. I said good bye back and waved. One of our dogs had dug a hole under the fence and William followed them out. After an extensive search, William was found in a river about 1 1/2 miles from our home. I think back on that day remembering every little detail of that perfect storm that led to his death and I am reminded that our children are entrusted to us temporarily and should be loved like every day is our last together.

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♥«´`WILLIAM´`»♥
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"I'll lend you for a little while a child of mine," He said. "For you to love while he lives and to mourn for when he's dead. It may be for hours, days or months, twenty-two or three, but will you
till I call for him take care of him for me?"

"He'll bring his joys to gladden you, and shall his stay be brief, you'll have his lovely memories as solace for your grief. I cannot promise he will stay since all from earth return. But there are lessons taught down there I want this child to learn."

"I've looked the world over in my search for teachers' true. And from the throngs that crowd life's lanes I've selected you. Nor will you give him all your love, nor think the labor vain, nor hate me when I come to call to take him back? I fancied that I heard him say,

"Dear Lord, thy will be done. For all the joy thy child will bring. The risk of grief we'll run. We'll shelter him with tenderness, we'll love him while we may and for the happiness we've known
forever grateful stay.

And shall the angels call for him much sooner than we planned, we'll brave the bitter grief that comes and try to understand."


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♥«´`WILLIAM´`»♥
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I though I would post some about who William was and how special he was to us starting with his favorites.

Favorite Food: Cheese, Cheerios, and he really loved oranges/tangerines
Greatest Achievement: Learning to point and draw.
Best Childhood Experience: Christmas?
Favorite Vacation: He loved the outdoors so any of our camping trips
Favorite Movie: Thomas the Train and Blue's Clues
Favorite Song: Twinkle twinkle little star, Istsy Bitsy Spider, If you're happy and you know it...
Favorite Book: Book of Trains, Brown Bear Brown Bear, Book of Things That Go, Chica Chica Boom Boom
Favorite Restaurant: Holden's Ranch because he could get down and run around.
Favorite Dessert: Ice cream or cake
Favorite Things: He was never without his satin blanket. He usually had his left thumb in his mouth and a blanket in his right.
Favorite Toy: The big Lego type blocks and the fridge magnet letters/toys

Hobbies and Additional Favorites:

He loved trains. He loved driving over train tracks. He would get so excited when he saw we were driving towards some tracks. His arms and legs would stick out straight and his hands and feet would rotate in circles and he would laugh. I would say 'here comes the big bump" repeating it gradually getting louder until we got to the tracks and then we would all put our hands straight up and go "WEEEEEEEE" like we were on a roller coaster. But often he would beat me to it and I would hear him trying to say "here comes the big bump" in the same tone. I would try to get caught by trains just so I could roll down the windows and hear the bell going off and the roar of the train. Alex and I would count the cars and William would laugh with his hands and feet going round and round.

The night before he died it was raining. We had gone to dinner where he ate an enormous amount of ice before we drove home. It was dark and sprinkling when we got there. When William got out of the car he felt the rain on his face and he started laughing. He laughed and danced right there in the driveway. It was so funny seeing him dance about and we laughed with him. The little things made him so happy. He was always happy to see some familiar face. When they or we would arrive he would do a dance and laugh. He would kind of stomp his feet and stick his arms out straight and rotate his hands in circles. He would laugh and speak his own language usually starting with "HI". He loved hugs. He would lean into you and wait for you to hug him. I worked with him every day to get him to hold his arms up but he wouldn't have it. He would smile and let you hug him as long as you wanted. There was a time when he also gave kisses. Big, wet, open mouth kisses.

He loved water. It was near impossible to keep him out of the toilets and the poor dogs water bowl. I have many pictures of him in both. Taking a bath was such a highlight that during the winter we would usually spend a couple hours nearly every morning in the tub. Painting, drawing or playing with shaving foam and bubbles was great entertainment in the tub. The tub was the easiest place for me to brush his teeth and cut his hair and he would happily let me. In the summer we would have the baby wading pool that he loved. I would let them play until they turned into prunes.

He loved being read to. I never had to call him to read a story. He would be there waiting. He would sit with his thumb in his mouth and his blanket on his lap and turn the pages as I read them. For a long while I would take his finger and point to pictures describing them or answering my own questions. Sometime after he turned two he finally was able to do it himself! And it was then I realized all that reading was paying off because then he could answer my questions. He was retaining what I was reading to him and he understood everything. He took to numbers much better than his sister and I was certain he knew simple math. I recall one day in Jan or Feb where he was able to count higher than his sister! She always tripped at 15 and he counted to 18! It did not surprise me when the developmental psychologist estimated his cognitive abilities on par with a 5 yr old!

He loved being outside. He would rush outside like he had the most important thing to do. For a long while he would collect sticks. He loved to dig in my planters and play in the dog water bowl. Later on he would play in the dirt area under the lean-to where the popup was housed. He had found some pieces of plastic gutter piping and would gather them up and move them back and forth from under the lean-to to next to the treeline. He would also walk the perimeter. He would do this at playgrounds also. He almost never played on the playground equipment or the play stuff in our back yard by himself. He would circle the perimeter like a caged animal. But he did love to be swung if I was to put him on the swing. He loved to walk and never complained about the distance. At campsites we could never contain him so we took turns walking him until he tired.


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♥«´`WILLIAM´`»♥
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They say the eyes are the windows to the soul. Anyone who saw William couldn't help being struck about how beautiful his eyes were. They seemed to draw you in as if he didn't have to speak; you just knew what he had on his mind. And with him it was pure beauty inside and out. William saw things differently from the rest of us. He felt things differently from the rest of us. I feel he knew there was so much more to this life than what we could imagine. He didn't really speak but he could communicate. And he could love. The love of simple things like trains and water. The same water that took his life and set him free.

Now he's in a place where they can understand every need, thought and desire. A place where there are endless puddles. A place he might find George Carlin to read him a Thomas the Train book. A place where all his great grandparents are waiting for him. And I hope he's at a place where he's watching over his brother, sister and cousin.

William, I think of you every moment of every day. I look at your pictures and wonder why such a short time. If it weren't for modern medicine you would've died in childbirth. And again if it weren't for modern medicine you would have died as an infant with a metabolic disorder. Did we have you on borrowed time?? Was your purpose here so great that you defied the odds for 2 years?? Were we listening??

You taught me so much; a new understanding for patience being one. You opened my mind to sensory disorders, to the ideas that not everyone feels, tastes, and hears the same. You taught me to accept that those great plans and grand ideas for the future sometimes have to be modified in ways I didn't like. You also taught me because you couldn't hug me back didn't mean the thousands of hugs I gave you didn't mean any less to you or me. William how I wish I could give you a thousand more.

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♥«´`WILLIAM´`»♥
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